Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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