I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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