glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
