So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize