So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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