a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
