Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
