I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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