I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
