New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have post one night stand depression
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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