my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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