I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
