the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
