Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize