Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
