so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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