I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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