Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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