He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
