To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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