I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
