A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
