You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize