so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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