i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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