And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We got so high we made milksteak
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
