Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
