Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
