Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
