Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
