At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
