so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's a Shit stain on my heart
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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