we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
