K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize