then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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