I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize