he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
