i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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