You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
