I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
