hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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