I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
