Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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