I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
