I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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