Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
