let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
then he tried to convert me to islam
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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