I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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