This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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