Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
