to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have already put on my inside pants.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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