well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize