found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
