I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
