Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
