I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
