my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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