Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
