Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
