I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
