you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
