Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
