My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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