they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
